May 12

Excel Fortune Cookie (…in bed?)

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Here’s a fun little fortune cookie program. The fortunes are generated from a list of random words. I developed four different grammars for the fortunes, which you can find in the backend data. (Is “grammars” the right word? I’m not sure.) Some of the fortunes, like the one above, seem to make sense. Here are a few I’ve captured, which appear thoughtful and humorous, perhaps even poetic.

  • The ugliest way finds evil.
  • If you satisfy this empty girl generously, you are the one who … does it even matter?.
  • Who wants the answer to be 42? The mammoth formula does!
  • Who finds true love? The beautiful water does!
  • The easy government gives up now.
  • Want the story now? Reluctantly face your family.

Most fortunes, however, come out as nonsense. For example:

  • Want the head now? Frenetically melt the day.

That’s great advice.

Feeling lucky? You should.

Fortune Cookie.xlsx (If the file doesn’t download immediately from Google drive, press the black down arrow in the upper left of the screen, under the menu.)


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  • I created some things, years ago, in PenCell 2.0 (an app on my Sharp PDA).One was "Miss Cleo Says…", a fortune telling program; one was "Magic 8 Ball", with the randomized answers you know and love (plus a few extras); and a "Marvin's Advice" – I too, am a Douglas Addams fan).~Doug

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